


I'll Never Leave You Again

by oncetherelivedaboy



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, it's emotional, keith meets his mom, only mentioned in passing but it's my headcanon, trans keith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 05:41:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13968558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oncetherelivedaboy/pseuds/oncetherelivedaboy
Summary: “You’re my…” The words hung in the air, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to hug her or punch her. A heaviness settled in his chest, made his breath shallow.“I wasn’t sure at first, you aren’t the same as how I left you.” He’s staring at the floor, not moving, not trusting himself to move. He can feel her gaze on him.





	I'll Never Leave You Again

“You’re my…” The words hung in the air, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to hug her or punch her. A heaviness settled in his chest, made his breath shallow. 

“I wasn’t sure at first, you aren’t the same as how I left you.” He’s staring at the floor, not moving, not trusting himself to move. He can feel her gaze on him. What she left was what she thought was a baby girl. This had to be a shock to her. “But, when I saw the knife, saw the way you fight. I knew.” She steps forward, reaching out to him but he steps back. 

“Don’t touch me.” He says, jerking away from her. 

“Keith.”

“You… You.. You left.” 

“I’m…”

“I was alone, you left, then dad, then Shiro. I was a kid and I was all on my own and you all left me!” He can feel the anger boiling in his chest, can feel the tears threatening to spill over. 

“He left you?” Keith nods. “If I had known…”

“Nothing would have changed. The blades, the mission comes first.” He says, malice in his voice. 

“Keith…” She doesn’t know what else to say, doesn’t know how to ease his pain, doesn’t know how to make him feel better. So she just watches him, his head still turned to the ground. Floppy hair shielding his face from view.  “What happened to your father?” He shrugs. 

“Don’t know.”

“How old were you?” He shrugs again. 

“Why does it matter?” He brings a hand to his face, wiping at his cheeks, his shoulders shaking slightly. 

“I’m sorry.” She says. “I know what I did seems unforgivable but it wasn’t safe to bring you with me, and I couldn’t stay.” 

“Did you even want me?” The words make her heart seize. His tone soft and half broken, something he’d been holding onto for so long, something he'd kept buried and suddenly it was all out in the open.

He doesn’t move when she places a hand on his shoulder. The knife clatters to the floor out of his grip as he’s suddenly against her chest. It’s instinct to wrap her arms around him, to block out the vastness of the universe, to protect him. How was she supposed to protect him from herself?  He doesn’t fight it, hugs her back. He tucks his head under her chin and one hand comes up to hold the back of his head. “Of course I wanted you.” It’s weird, the feeling of being held, can’t remember the last time he had any kind of physical affection. His hair’s just as soft as it was when he was a baby. 

“Then why did you leave?” 

“Because I loved you too much to drag you into my war.” 

“Too late for that.” She can hear the smile in his voice.

“I’m so proud of you.” He goes stiff in her arms, hasn’t heard that in years. “So proud of who’ve you’ve grown into and everything you’ve done.”

“You shouldn’t be.”

“You’re my son, and you’re a Blade. You made it this far on your own. Why shouldn’t I be proud of you?”  He doesn’t pull away and she doesn’t let go. She never wants to let him go, 18 years is a long time to be without your child. He chuckles, she must not know about Voltron. “What?” 

“Nothing.” 

_______________

He starts to doze off while she pilots them back towards the Blade base. She knew she’d lost a lot of time with him. She thought she’d never see him again, had lived with that since she’d left. Wasn’t happy with it but thought it the only way to keep him safe. And yet, there he is. His breaths are slow, the only sound in the cabin. She turns away from him, focusing on the route ahead, focusing on getting ready for the lengthy debriefing that's about to take place. 

She hadn’t expected to ever see her child again. Wonders if she could have lived with that. Her chest aches at the time lost, her face burns, she feels the hot, fat tears as they spill over her cheeks. She tries to wipe them away but they’re coming too fast. Finds herself heaving great breaths of air, the lump in her throat is unbearable. She just hopes he’s asleep, hopes he doesn’t see her like this. She pulls her legs up into the seat holding fast. She’d cried when she’d initially left, cried on the first few birthdays that passed. Hadn’t cried over her lost baby for over 15 years. On quiet nights when the loneliness crept in and the regret filled in like a resin she managed to block it out. The blade was more important, the universe was more important than her feelings. Her baby was safer on Earth. She blocked it out with logic, had managed to this long. But now, seeing him here. He was so hurt by what she’d done, she’d never wanted to hurt him, and yet it seemed she was the one who caused the most pain. 

“Krolia?” She doesn’t say anything for a moment, tries to level her breathing, level her voice as best she can. 

“Go back to sleep Keith, you’ve had a long day. I’ll wake you up before we get there.” She puts her feet back down. Doesn’t look at him, doesn’t want him to see her like this. 

“Are you ok?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Doesn’t know how much longer she can hold herself together. “Just looking forward to getting back home.” There’s no reply. She breathes deep, listens for his own breaths, waiting for them to slow back down into the sleepy calm they’d been before. She hears his feet hit the floor, pad slowly up behind her. 

“You sure you don’t want me to take over for awhile.” 

“No, I’m fine. Get some sleep.” She gives a vague gesture to indicate he should go back. His footsteps approach. She wipes frantically at her face, sniffles as discreetly as one can. He’s standing next to he, and he’s all grown up. She missed it, missed his whole life. She’s never been graceful with her tears. 

“Mom?” It stings, the softness in his voice. He’s so much better than she is. The word he’s said takes a moment to register but she thinks it hurts more. 

“I’m sorry.” She says. “ I have no right, it was my choice.” She wraps her arms back around her legs. “I...I…” He sits down on the arm of the chair. Looking away from her, looking at the empty vastness around them. They sit there, like the strangers they are. 

“You did what you thought was right.” He says, looking to the floor. “I think you would have regretted it either way. At least this way you’re helping people who need help. I had Dad, for awhile, but I knew how to take care of myself.” She stands, circling the arm so that she’s facing him.

“You shouldn’t have had to. I should have…”

“You can’t change the past. What happened, well it happened.” 

“I’m sorry.” She keeps saying it. Doesn’t know what else to say, it’s the only thing that feels right to tell him. He glances over at her. 

“You don’t have to be. There’s nothing to be sorry about.” 

“I hurt you.” 

“A lot of people hurt me.” He wants to take it back the minute it leaves his mouth. The expression that crosses her face holds so much guilt. 

“I was the first. If I hadn’t…” 

“I forgive you then. I understand why you did it, I wish it hadn’t happened the way it did but there’s no way to change it now.” She nods. “And I mean, you’re my Mom. If I didn’t forgive you, you could ground me or something.” She laughs, and sits down on the cold metal floor. Wipes at her face, gets most of the tears. Keith moves forward, sits down next to her. “Dad said  you used to play with my hair all the time when I was a baby.” She smiles, leans her head back against the wall, closes her eyes. The ship’s on auto-pilot. 

“Yeah, softest thing in the Universe.” She hears shuffling around and then there’s a soft weight in her lap. Looks down to see he’s using her as a pillow, his legs stretched out on the length of the wall. She rests one hand on his shoulder, the other stroking his hair. Quiet affection, quiet touch. Keith is starved for that, it seems she is as well. Beneath the crushing vastness of what lies outside the spaceship she hums a soft tune, an old lullaby she never learned the words too. She sits like that until long after he’s asleep. Eventually stills her hand in the long parts of the back. 

“I can’t believe you have a mullet.” She mutters, separating it into pieces so that she can braid it up away from his neck. Catching sight of purple markings extending out slightly. She rubs a thumb over it, the same as the soft skin around it. She wonders if he’ll start to take on more Galran features the longer he’s surrounded by them.

“I’ll never leave you again, I’ll always be right here.” She says, tucking the strands out of his face. His features are so soft, so content in sleep. It’s such a contrast to what she’d seen earlier. It wasn’t right that he wore a near constant mask of rigidity, of toughness. 

She’d lost 18 years, she wasn’t going to lose another moment with him. 

**Author's Note:**

> Crawling out of my hole to post some voltron shit even with my excessive unfinished Hamilton works.  
> Anyway, comments are my favorite, feel free to yell at me to update my other works.  
> my tumblr is oncetherelivedaboy.tumblr.com if you're interested


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